Sh*t My Toddler Says

shit my toddler says As a teenager my mom always managed to embarrass me somehow- if it was on purpose or not I am unsure. I sometimes like to think she did it for kicks. Like the time she rolled down all the windows (and locked them) while blasting shaggy- singing and dancing. That moment sitting at the red light in front of my school was the longest 2 minutes of my life. Of course this was not the only embarrassing moment growing up…I can go on and on. But my point is I think it’s a way to pay us back for the embarrassing moments we put our own parents though. You know the typical shit kids say that make you beet red, quickly trying to think of a way to fix or rectify what just came out of their mouth. Like the time when our neighbor invited my mom, sister and I over for a playdate and when our neighbor was opening a can of raviolis my sister (4 years old) screams “ewe… What are you gonna feed us… Dog food” (in all fairness my mom rarely fed us anything from a can). I can assure you that was the last play date we ever had with those neighbors. Ha.

Well my little THREEnager has a list going…. Shit my toddler says. 
  •  pointing out the hole in my jeans and making sure EVERYONE in the store sees “I see your booty Mommie” – thanks son
  • that time we were grocery shopping at the international market and he proceeds to say very loudly “WHAT IS DAT SMELL- YUCK. I SAID WHAT IS DAT SMELL MOM” – thanks son
  • the time he proceeded to stand up at a restaurant and poop- mind you he made it very know what he was doing. “I finished now” -thanks son
  • or when we pick him up from nursery school and he loudly says “oh! you came back” and he says this EVERYTIME. Yes son I do come back. Lol I have never left. -We like to credit this to Daniel the Tiger episode.
  • or at the park when he asked me to slide down the toddler slide. I told him I can’t fit I am too big. He says “you eat too much food mom!” -thanks son
  • or when we were having a conversation about if he wanted to play t-ball and he says “sure! I play baseball and hit them” in which I tell him-“no son you hit the ball not the people.” He looks at me side eyed “why you hit their balls?” And the people’s heads turn -thanks son
  • that time he loudly tells me he has “another mommie” and says help me find my other Mommie in the middle of Target. Boy oh boy did I get the stank eye from a few ladies with the “poof” aka-older ladies. -thanks son
What embarrassing sh*t does your toddler say?

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